Something to offend everyone

How can you tell the Irish guy in hospital?
He's the one blowing the foam off his bedpan.

Where does an Australian family go on holiday?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a disabled baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
Men miss them all.

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they are not going to work in the future either.

What do you call an Australian farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

Why do drivers' education classes in Queensland schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesdays and Thursdays the sex education class use it.

Whats the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f**k?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'Bingo'.

What's the Cuban national anthem?
'Row, row, row, your boat.'

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...'while a Southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...'