Ten Shunn! Military performance appraisals

'Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.'

'A room temperature IQ.'

'Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.'

'A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.'

'A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.'

'Bright as Alaska in December.'

'Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.'

'If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.'

'He's so dense, light bends around him.'

'Its hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.'

'Takes him one and a half hours to watch 60 Minutes.'

'Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.'