Troubled human race

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(but it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
(printed on the bottom of the box)
(too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be very hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(but wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive or operate machinery.
(if we could just keep those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(one would hope)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas Lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(as opposed to use in outer space.)
(or underground)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious!)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(DUH!!!!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)